The Leadership Year: Month Twelve

It’s the end of the Leadership Year! Personally, I can’t quite believe how quickly 12 months have gone this year. The end of each year is always a time where I am highly reflective and I’m so pleased to be able to add to that the feedback from those of you who have followed – especially those who followed from the start! So, I’ll begin by saying “Thank you!”

But given how many of us naturally use this time to reflect, the focus of the final instalment of the Leadership Year focuses on a key question. “How do I show up?” It’s a phrase I use a lot in leadership training, but also one I never get tired of asking. It’s also a question I ask myself on a regular basis too. But often thoughts go to the practical answers. I ensure I’m well prepared, in a meeting I make sure I give my full focus, I’ve invested in X training… All of these are good actions to take, but to be able to reflect more fully our answer needs to explore how we show up from an emotional, or mental, perspective.

Emotional Intelligence has been a topic that has become increasingly popular in leadership literature over the last few years. Dating all the way back to Plato in Ancient Greece - so it’s not actually a new topic, but it is an area that perhaps was missing from the business world for the generation before us. But what actually is emotional intelligence?

At it’s core it’s about being able to understand your own emotions, and act on them. Then to be able to identify other people’s emotions and act accordingly with them too. Simple right? Well, yes and no. Emotional Intelligence includes high levels of ability in areas such as empathy, reflection, feedback, self-awareness, and communication. As a concept it’s easy to grasp, but to be truly competent in these areas would be a lifetime’s work in itself. And to be honest, you’d still have room for improvement. Studies show that in comparison to the more traditional, educationally measured IQ, Emotional Intelligence can actually be improved throughout our entire lives. Which means that it’s an area that all people, and especially leaders, should continually invest in.

There are lots of techniques and frameworks for Emotional Intelligence, but a few simple exercises can also help with the self-awareness and management levels. Thinking of a few key examples through the last year where you have interacted with others on a project or in a meeting, consider how you would answer these questions:

·       What was my role in this interaction?

·       How was I feeling prior to the meeting/project starting?

·       Did my feelings change throughout the meeting/project? What triggered any changes?

·       Do I feel that I was able to do my best?

·       Were those around me also able to do their best? How did I impact them?

·       Being honest, did I always want to take part in this project/meeting, or were there times I had to dig a little deeper to find my motivation?

In asking yourself these questions, you start to be able to judge how you showed up. What were you thinking throughout the interaction? Why did you feel that way? What happened as a result? And what did you need to do to keep yourself motivated when you weren’t feeling as positive about the meeting/project? It is rare for anyone to have 100% positive interactions through the year where they feel that both they and everyone around them did their best and always showed up in the best way possible. But, by becoming more aware of these thoughts and feelings we are likely to see ourselves becoming more conscious about how we show up. And this helps us feel more positive and in control, and also helps those around us feel more inclined to want to work with us too!

To be able to add even greater depth to this reflection, it may be worth considering how you show up in multiple situations. The work of Scouller suggested there are 3 spheres that leaders operate in.

1.       Public: Large scale interactions such as presentations, team meetings. This may put extra pressure on you to ‘perform’ or deliver on important messaging

2.       Private: 121 conversations with direct reports, senior team members and colleagues. Every person is different, but how does this impact how you show up?

3.       Personal: The inner dialogue we have with ourselves. Often when reflecting on our abilities at the end of the day or after the completion of a project

Bringing in multiple scenarios can really help leaders gain greater insight into their behaviours. What makes us feel comfortable with some individuals but not with others? Why do we find it more difficult to take on certain tasks? And what are the thoughts and feelings behind our actions? The more frequently we can reflect on this, the more able to reduce our blind spots we’ll become. And this is a key step to improving emotional intelligence. Especially for leaders, as often as people become increasingly senior, their team feedback to them less.

There is a wealth of advice on Emotional Intelligence online, but these simple steps are a great way to start. Putting some time aside to think about how you show up can really pay dividends when understanding more about your current leadership behaviours and how best to improve them going forwards.

As the year comes to a close, this is a great time for reflection. I hope the Leadership Year has given you all plenty to think about and do continue to share how it’s working for you!