The Leadership Year: Month Eleven
The penultimate month of the Leadership Year! Thank you to all of you who have been following it through these months – it’s been great hearing from you all! Last month’s piece on interactions seems to have struck a chord with many of you too. So, I’d like to pick that back up by looking at leadership language.
Language can be a tricky balance for a leader. You are in a position of authority but might be nervous of coming across as too bossy. You want to be able to make your voice heard but not sound like you have a big ego. And often you need to be able to the ‘middleman’ between senior management and your team and pass on important information about the company. All of these pose challenges that are worth taking a moment to pause and consider “am I communicating effectively as a leader?”
In month 2 we looked at different leadership styles, and this is worth considering afresh from a communication perspective. Kurt Lewin spoke of there being 3 styles: authoritarian, democratic and laissez-faire. I like to summarise them simply as leaders who tell, ask or trust. Reflecting on the style you tend to favour will be revealed by the language you use. When was the last time you verbalised the trust, you had in a team member? Or said how much you valued their opinions? We can often have a different perception of which style we feel we are modelling versus the experience of those around us. And creating opportunities to ensure we actually verbalise these areas can ensure our leadership language is evolving with our style.
In most cases, people become leaders because of their experience or expertise. This should mean that they are better able to understand business messages and be able to consider what they mean for the teams and individuals around them. This is a vital role in leadership. The success of a business strategy is rarely determined by those in strategic senior roles but actually by the abilities of the much larger workforce to interpret and act on those strategies, and for this to happen communication from leaders is absolutely crucial. If we consider a chain of communication starting with a CEO and moving through levels of management to the wider workforce, we should consider each level adding additional details specific to the team or job role function. A classic example would be communication about a new piece of software. Whilst the CEO might be able to explain why the business has chosen the new software, they are highly unlikely to understand the exact details of how the move will impact you. But as the communication moves through the chain, it should become more specific and tailored to the individuals explaining elements such as timelines and how specific processes will change for tasks the team need to complete. Leaders have a role in interpreting headline information into something more tangible and meaningful for the teams they represent. Predicting barriers or reactions in advance can show you both understanding and empathy, and further cement your role of the leader through understanding your role in adding detail to communication from above.
My final point is one I feel is really meaningful. It’s subtle, but powerful, and it’s about using a language of conviction. In my role as a tutor, I often encourage this in academic writing, but it is just as important in the workplace too. When writing an email, we often read and re-read what we’ve said to be able to finetune the message (& even then it still often gets misunderstood!) but in real-life we can speak on auto-pilot and bad habits can follow us through our careers without us realising. I believe strongly that using a language of conviction is particularly important at career junctions where we need to work on our profile and be seen as capable of taking the next step ‘up’, and especially in interviews and important presentations/meetings. Yet so often at these moments we choose language that undermines the points we are making.
As a classic example, consider the phrase “I think this is the right thing to do”. This should be an important point where an individual is stepping up and is recommending a course of action, but it falls a little flat. A simple swap can change this in an instance. “I believe this is the right thing to do”. “I think” is probably the most common way of introducing needless doubt and yet it is so easy to fix. If you believe in something, then stand by it and make that belief clear to others.
The over-use of “Sorry” is also a trap many fall into. A manager early in my career highlighted this to me as I was a terrible over-apologiser! Now please don’t get me wrong, when there is something to apologise for do so readily and as authentically as possible. But “Sorry can I talk to you about…” is often used when asking people if they have time for an important conversation. Starting conversations with apologies suggests that what you have to say isn’t as important as what they were already working on. A swap to “I know you’re busy right now, but it’s important we work on…, can you make some time?” actually starts the conversation you want to have on a better foot, and is more empathetic than saying sorry but still launching into your conversation regardless! This is also often used when chasing someone for a reply. “So sorry to chase, but any chance you could reply to one of the last 6 emails I’ve sent you when you have a minute, please…” I’ve exaggerated, but this is often how email chains go! It’s a crazy habit to apologise for the other person not replying to you! If it’s important, say so. If it’s not… well maybe give up chasing altogether!
Adding belief and removing apologies can add conviction to your language relatively easily. But often we can undermine ourselves with one last bad habit, and that’s asking questions when we’re trying to make a point. Questions are for gaining clarity or permission, but if you don’t need either then try using an assumptive close. “With this in mind, we’ll start working on the project on Tuesday”. Consider how much stronger this is compared to “Is it ok if we start working on this next week?”. The phrase “Seek forgiveness not permission” is something I have long subscribed to. If you feel out of your depth or the repercussions are serious then absolutely make sure you seek permission. But if you already have the conviction about what the right thing to do is, don’t undermine yourself by seeking it un-necessarily.
Language rarely changes overnight, but these are 3 watch areas that can be particularly useful. Keep an ear out for the language you use and reflect on:
· How are you verbalising your leadership style of Tell, Ask or Trust?
· Are you adding detail to corporate messages, or are you simply the ‘middleman’?
· How often are you using “I think”, “Sorry” or seeking permission?
This reflection can help you focus on where your leadership language can evolve.
