Why is it so hard to do anything in social isolation?

I have often used the phrase “we are social animals” in my role as a Leadership tutor. I explain that if we were kept in isolation we would struggle to function. Little did I know that this would be put to the test with the whole world responding to Covid-19 with various degrees of social distancing, isolation and lockdowns

But why is it that this lack of social contact doesn’t just impact on relationships, but actually impacts on our whole lives?

I’ve spoken to a lot of people since lockdown began in the UK and a lot of them are saying the same things. Either that they have no motivation at all, or they explain grand plans to re-vamp their lives during this time, only for them to fall short or fail to get off the ground.

The key to this is in 1 word: motivation. And if you search for motivation online it won’t take long for Maslow to appear.

You might know Maslow. He gets taught a lot in schools, colleges and those away days your business used to send you on in the Noughties. He created the Hierarchy of Needs and it looks like a pyramid. You have to start at the bottom of the pyramid and climb up to get motivated. And it gets better the higher you climb.

So let’s start at the bottom: Physiological. This means our absolute basics to stay alive. Food to eat, clean water to drink – the absolute basics. You can’t possibly be motivated if you don’t have the essentials. But right now the essentials don’t feel quite so certain. Toilet roll was bought in bulk, a loaf of bread is like gold dust & when we leave the house we feel we have to get as many as we can then head back indoors. The very foundation of our pyramid has huge gaps in it in a way many have never experienced before.

Then we move to Safety. The feeling that you’re going to be ok. This affects us in many ways – do we feel secure in our health, wealth and can we predict the future? Well there’s a big clue right there as to why we’re not motivated right now. The coronavirus is unprecedented. Nobody has faced a situation like this in living memory. For the majority of the time and for the majority of people we usually have this 2nd stage of the pyramid covered. But right now this is on shaky ground and we need to do a lot of positive talking to ourselves just to stop us freaking out

Belonging. We are pack animals at our core and we need to have other people’s company. Isolation reduces this significantly and we no longer have the same role in community as we once did. We are fortunate through technology to have more ways to keep in touch than ever before but it’s not the same and we know it. You may find yourself connecting to new communities at this time. A neighbourhood chat group or an online exercise class sparks a feeling of connection. These are signs that you are trying to fulfil this 3rd level of the pyramid

Esteem is near the top of the pyramid, and it’s that feeling of actually having achieved something. But right now that can be hard to do. Our world is upside down and you may be making compromises in how things are done. I’ve heard from parents feeling like they’ve done a bad job at home schooling, people feeling like they’ve had to compromise quality in their jobs as they muddle through at home and even people worried their hard work at keeping fit is drifting away. There are definitely achievements for us to be proud of – but our esteem needs are not being met in the same way as usual.

And then there’s self-actualisation. “Fulfilling one’s full potential”. Now this can feel like a never-ending story at the best of times but right now? In my mind it’s not the time to set such a big challenge

Maslow has been around for decades and there’s a reason: it makes sense. Our pyramids are often stable structures and we’re used to dipping in and out of those top levels. Whilst in the midst of coronavirus, the pyramid is held together with sticky tape at every single level.

So what would you do if you were climbing a real life unstable structure? Well you either wouldn’t, or you’d take it slow. Be careful to think about your next steps and not to overload it. And that is exactly what we should be doing with our goals right now too.

Take care of yourselves and follow your government’s advice